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Jaguar_Mark+II

Time to get the Jag fixed up!

In a few hours I will be arriving at the Willow Manor Ball where birthday girl Tess Kincaid and her remarkable guests are partying from midnight to midnight (5 a.m. BST).

Christina Hendricks and her Johnnie Walker went down so well last year that she is once again riding shotgun with a case of Black Label; in fact she has already started.

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Squeezed in the back are Tracey Emin and Eliza Carthy – both party animals. Strapped to the roofrack is an unmade bed which Tracey insisted on bringing.

What to wear? What to wear? This year I have gone for a touch of pink.

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See you there!

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I return to this blog after a long absence precipitated by my mid-life crisis with good news … the Willow Manor Ball is underway.

Join Tess Kincaid and her guests as they party like crazed weasels.

I am wrapping myself in a trenchcoat as I hear it can get wet and wild in Central Ohio this time of year …

Christina Hendricks is coming with me … together with several cases of Johnnie Walker which she gets free … the only reason I am bringing her to be honest as frankly she has an annoying giggle and a tendency to say “La di da” a bit too often for my liking … but what the hell she has a great rack …

So hurry along to Willow Manor and sign in … I will be there after breakfast … the full English of course …

I’m all dressed up for the 4th Annual Willow Manor Ball which is tomorrow … I’m allowing plenty of time to get there. Just time for a quick glass of Highland Park before I jump in the Jag.

Wait a minute! What’s this? A text from Nigella Lawson Queen of Gastroporn: plz tk me 2 ball …

Well, perhaps I could squeeze her in. See you at Willow Manor!

I was rather hoping that Nigella Lawson Queen of Gastroporn would accompany me to the Willow Manor Ball this year but I haven’t heard from her.

With hostess gorgeous pouting Tess Kincaid one is guaranteed an evening of shining wit and sparkling conversation, as well as unlimited alcoholic refreshment, and as she herself once pointed out, the ball mysteriously lasts for 24 hours.

Still, I’ll be getting the Jag fixed up and arriving in some style to drink and dance and flirt outrageously with all of the women and even some of the men. Cheers!

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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