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Mike Figgis is about to make his debut as an opera director at English National Opera. But his production of Donizetti’s Lucrezia Borgia is hardly the fulfilment of a dream for the 62-year-old Oscar-nominated director.

“I only went to my first opera three or four years ago, when my girlfriend took me to the Met in New York.”

What does Figgis remember of that first opera he saw in New York? “It was Verdi, the one where she’s dying. Actually, that could be any opera, couldn’t it?”

Fucking hell. Mike Figgis has a girlfriend? Poor bitch.

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“Join City and you’re dead”

I rarely comment on the game of football and its overpaid star players, but this time I cannot resist.

It’s time Wayne “King” Rooney spent £4.10 on a day saver and climbed aboard the bus for Reality Street, where no doubt he will meet several Manchester United fans who would be delighted to give him a demonstration of accurate kicking.

20 October 2010

Wayne Rooney issues a statement: “I met with David Gill last week and he did not give me any of the assurances I was seeking about the future squad. I then told him that I would not be signing a new contract.”

22 October 2010

Rooney signs a new five-year contract taking his basic pay to £160,000 a week: “I’m delighted to sign another deal at United. In the last couple of days, I’ve talked to the manager and the owners and they’ve convinced me this is where I belong.”

Related:

Rooney’s cynical and disloyal posturing is the greatest betrayal

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Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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