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This is Christina Hendricks

(Source: Sun)

Christina Hendricks is at the centre of a picture scandal after saucy snaps were stolen from her phone.

The Mad Men star is snapped in a variety of sexy poses which have been posted on the internet, with one appearing to be of her topless. Christina is insisting that the X-rated photo of a woman pulling her top down is in fact a fake. The image of the chest in question appears without a head or body on it, so could be anyone’s. But there is no denying that the other barely-dressed pics of Hendricks gazing into the camera are actually her own.

What looking at Christina Hendricks says about you

In the open market nude photographs can fetch up to $1 million if they retain the cache of novelty and are properly distributed. Each time we view one of these leaked or hacked photographs we are contributing to the decline in value of a potential future asset. The individual leaking the photos is exploiting a possible future revenue stream for the celebrity without their permission. Because a market exists for nudity, the leak is akin to someone stealing and releasing an early copy of a musician’s single.

(Jo Piazza, Wall Street Journal)

Here are the breasts which Hendricks says are not hers. My question is, whose are they then?

This isn't Christina Hendricks

They’re hers.

She let Ross Kemp put his penis in her vagina, so perhaps she’s not such a bright spark.

Still, I’d give her one.

Rebekah Brooks, the schmoozer hated by Murdoch’s wife and daughter

As a rule, Nigella Lawson is only too happy to show off her voluptuous figure in low-cut outfits. On a visit to Bondi Beach, however, she went to the opposite extreme. The 51-year-old Domestic Goddess opted for a full cover-up against the late-summer Sydney sun as she splashed in the water with a companion.

Miss Lawson’s outfit resembled a burkini – a three-piece swimsuit designed to preserve the modesty of Muslim women – with a baseball cap beneath the hood.

The explanation was that the fair-skinned star was worried about sunburn. Prompting the question: Why bother going on the beach, then?

As usual when I’m completely broke, I decide to wander aimlessly around Manchester.

I get caught in a shower of sharp, cold rain, and head for Waterstone’s, where I find five pence on the floor.

When the sun comes out I head off again.

Later, I am strolling past Chetham’s and the Cathedral when a pretty girl catches my eye and smiles. I smile back. She approaches me. “Drunk,” I thought. I think she was, a bit. She was the kind of girl you’d want to get caught in the rain with, you run for cover, perhaps a shop doorway, art gallery or coffee shop, laughing because she’s wet and you’re wet, your eyes meet, she doesn’t look away …

“Excuse me, I’m not a tramp or anything, I’m from Eastbourne … I’m trying to raise £34 to get back there.”

She holds out her hand to reveal she already has five or six pounds in change, enough for a couple of drinks. Perhaps I could invite her to Sinclair’s Oyster Bar or the Wellington? Does she have to get back to Eastbourne today? What do I say?

I look straight at her.

“I’ve got five pee,” I say bluntly and truthfully. “I don’t suppose that’s any use.”

She wanders off.

Coincidentally, I stayed in Eastbourne one summer a few years ago when I was teaching English. What a hole.

So I don’t blame this girl for coming to Manchester in search of thrills.

As usual, when it comes to the England football team’s piss poor performances, the best headline appeared on the front page of today’s Sun newspaper:

Sunny outlook in many areas but depression over Heathrow as shower drifts in from South Africa

The kindest thing we can do for these unfortunate millionaires is to ignore them, just as they have ignored each other for the last two weeks. Boys, no one cares about you any more.

Perhaps one positive thing can come out of England’s disastrous defeat against Germany: surely now the Football Association must introduce the technology which will allow match officials and players to understand what Fabio Capello is saying.

(Fabio Capello is on holiday.)

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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