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Talent-free shemale chanteuse and vertical bacon sandwich Lady Gaga has defended the “meat dress” she wore at the MTV Video Music Awards saying it was not disrespectful towards “vegans and vegetarians”.

The singer told US chatshow host Ellen DeGeneres that the outfit was a protest against the way the army in America treats gay soldiers. Lesbian, bisexual and gay people can serve in the US military as long as they don’t reveal their sexual orientation.

“This is a woman in control of her own image and turning the tables on society,” says Laurie Penny, a feminist writer and blogger. “As Lady Gaga herself said at the awards: ‘If we don’t stand up for our rights soon we’re going to have as much rights as the meat on our bones. And I am not a piece of meat.’ It’s a clever play on women being viewed as chunks of flesh, as pieces of meat, as things to be consumed,” says Ms Penny. “It’s a sly wink at that aspect of society and the joke is on us. Just take her quip about asking Cher to hold her meat purse. She is the one laughing.”

It’s a bold statement, but definitely not a silly stunt, says Ms Penny. The dress has been very carefully made and is not just slabs of meat thrown together – it is like a “beautiful couture dress”. This attention to detail shows it is something Gaga has thought through.

“People will say it’s mad or crazy and, of course, there is a shock factor to it. But it is all very cleverly done and very calculated. This is a woman in control of herself and her image. I think it’s brilliant.”

I think it’s fucking stupid and Lady Gaga is fucking stupid and MTV is fucking stupid and Cher is fucking stupid and vegans are fucking stupid and People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) are fucking stupid and US soldiers are fucking stupid …

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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