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Christina Aguilera is once again a single woman now that her divorce to Jordan Bratman (whoever the fuck he is) is complete and final.

Aguilera, who married record producer Bratman in Napa Valley, California, five years ago, filed for divorce last October.

The Burlesque star’s marriage officially ended last week with the singing sensation citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split.

The former couple have agreed to share custody of their three-year-old son Max, and will divide their assets according to the pre-nuptial agreement.

The one-time Disney starlet recently spoke about her arrest last month for public intoxication whilst in the company of her new beau Matt Rutler. She said: “I can laugh about my own hiccups and my own experiences in life because I’m getting through it.”

She continued (she just can’t shut the fuck up): “In light of the past year, there have been obvious setbacks. I’ve gone through a really hard divorce, and anyone who has gone through a divorce will speak about how hard the journey is from start to finish. It’s a life-uprooting time and there have been hiccups along the way that unfortunately the whole world gets to witness and judge.”

She is the next Mrs Stainforth …

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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