You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘boobs’ tag.

Please take great care when you type something in a search engine … or you might end up here … as ever, I sincerely hope the people who typed in these search terms found what they were after …

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Click to embiggen (recommended)

(Source: handbag.com)

Get the back band right
The first thing to remember is getting the back band right; it needs to fit on the loosest hook and should sit horizontally. Over time you can tighten it, but if you start off with it on the tightest hook, it’s already too big for you.

Tighten those bra straps
Most of the support from your bra should be coming from the back band – not the straps. If you’re left with red marks where the straps are digging in you’re putting too much strain on your poor shoulders!

The wires shouldn’t stick out
The wires of your bra should sit flat, without poking you in the middle. This means that your boobs won’t spill out from the sides or top, escaping from the cups.

Finally, give them a jiggle …
The bend and snap isn’t a move reserved for fans of Legally Blonde. According to Curvy Kate, you need to make sure your boobs fit into your bra by moving them about a bit. Lean forward and give your boobs a jiggle, then scoop them in and up!

As usual, I sincerely hope that if you typed in one of these search terms, you found what you were looking for.

I am not making these up.

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The Cleggerons are now hitting us where it hurts, the Daily Mail no longer has sexy pics of the Queen of Gastroporn displaying a lot of her ample cleavage.

Nigella, we want your huge boobs all over the papers. Get them out! I mean your boobs and the Cleggerons.

What will they cut next?

Christchurch, New Zealand: A wrecked house in Canterbury, near the earthquake epicentre at Darfield

I sincerely hope that the twats who typed in these search terms found what they were looking for following the disappointment of being directed to this blog.

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If there was an Emmy for the best supported actress, sweater stretcher Christina Hendricks would have won it hands down. The 35-year-old star of Mad Men wore a plunging lavender gown by Zac Posen – with ostrich feathers at the sleeves and skirt – which emphasised her hourglass figure, not to mention her huge rack, at the recent Emmy awards ceremony.

However, stunning bra busting Mad Men star Christina Hendricks, who was voted Sexiest Woman Alive by female readers of Esquire and called the perfect physical role model by equalities minister Lynne Featherstone, claims she still finds it hard to borrow a designer dress.

This could be because she destroys them with her massive melons. Christ, how much do they weigh?

I would splash out on a new dress and give her a pearl necklace. A dead heat in a Zeppelin race.

Bowling balls, jugs, funbags, dirty pillows, bangers, rib balloons, milk cans, etc., etc.

These cause earthquakes

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear revealing clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame for earthquakes. Apparently, he’s serious.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media.

He went on: “Now, if a natural earthquake hits Tehran, no one will be able to confront such a calamity but God’s power, only God’s power … So let’s not disappoint God.”

His challenge has been met. Today is International Boobquake Day.

Jen McCreight on her blog Blag Hag responded to this remarkable claim by urging women to dress immodestly to try and trigger global seismic events:

On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own.Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake.

My Personal Assistant, Miss McKenzie, is way out in front of the sistaz on this one, but I haven’t felt anything yet.

Related:

A long strange history of understanding earthquakes as a punishment for other people’s sex lives

(Sun)

This ancient lacy number is thought to be the world’s oldest push-up bra.

The 200-year-old boob enhancer was discovered in storage at the Science Museum in London. The pads were designed to boost the cleavage like a modern Wonderbra, made famous by the 1990s “Hello Boys” ads featuring model Eva Herzigova.

The bra, dating from the 1800s, will go on show for the first time next Wednesday.

The museum’s assistant curator Selina Hurley said: “We think of body enhancement as a modern invention. But this object shows that women have been looking to boost their cleavage for hundreds of years. This bust enhancer is one-of-a-kind in our collection.”

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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