Mature, sophisticated, and rational thinkers have long since realized that the hot dog is the only appropriate meat-bun combination. I can only shake my head with polite bemusement whenever I hear someone make the case for a double cheeseburger, since they are only doing it to make themselves feel better. Why simply add what is already in the bun over again? Why not just have two? Far more sensible to have a bacon cheeseburger which at least has an extra ingredient.

If you need two patties, your burger is by definition crap – a truly great burger should be at least three-quarters to an inch thick, preferably thicker.

When I get them out I tend to go with the classic bacon cheeseburger, however, the hot dog is the only rational choice. The sensitive subtlety and interplay between casing and filling make the hot dog an exquisite aesthetic experience.