Mike Figgis is about to make his debut as an opera director at English National Opera. But his production of Donizetti’s Lucrezia Borgia is hardly the fulfilment of a dream for the 62-year-old Oscar-nominated director.

“I only went to my first opera three or four years ago, when my girlfriend took me to the Met in New York.”

What does Figgis remember of that first opera he saw in New York? “It was Verdi, the one where she’s dying. Actually, that could be any opera, couldn’t it?”

Fucking hell. Mike Figgis has a girlfriend? Poor bitch.

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