You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2010.

“Join City and you’re dead”

I rarely comment on the game of football and its overpaid star players, but this time I cannot resist.

It’s time Wayne “King” Rooney spent £4.10 on a day saver and climbed aboard the bus for Reality Street, where no doubt he will meet several Manchester United fans who would be delighted to give him a demonstration of accurate kicking.

20 October 2010

Wayne Rooney issues a statement: “I met with David Gill last week and he did not give me any of the assurances I was seeking about the future squad. I then told him that I would not be signing a new contract.”

22 October 2010

Rooney signs a new five-year contract taking his basic pay to £160,000 a week: “I’m delighted to sign another deal at United. In the last couple of days, I’ve talked to the manager and the owners and they’ve convinced me this is where I belong.”

Related:

Rooney’s cynical and disloyal posturing is the greatest betrayal

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I would not be tempted to shag this even if I was blind fucking drunk. Especially not with her father watching.

After Nigella Lawson explained to Kate Garraway that eating chocolate can be sexy, the Daybreak presenter tried her hand at the art of seduction.

But it didn’t quite work out and instead Garraway ended up with a face slathered in chocolate after her co-presenter Dan Lobb dunked her head into a bowl of chocolate sauce.

The presenters had been interviewing Nigella, dubbed the Queen of Gastroporn, who is famed for licking her fingers flirtatiously while in the kitchen.

(Source: Daily Mail)

Black Dogs Defined

This is the best of me; for the rest, I ate, and drank, and slept, loved and hated, like another: my life was as the vapour and is not; but this I saw and knew; this, if anything of mine, is worth your memory.

(John Ruskin, Sesame and Lilies)

Whatever people say I am, that’s what I’m not.

(Alan Sillitoe, Saturday Night and Sunday Morning)

This is my letter to the world, that never wrote to me.

(Emily Dickinson, This is my letter to the world)

Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!

(Edna St. Vincent Millay, Second Fig)

R.A.D. Stainforth

I was born before The Beatles’ first LP and brought up in the reeking slums of Jericho. I am in love with a woman called Hazel and in love with her daughter, also called Hazel, both of whom I met at Alcoholics Anonymous.

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