Captain Black

Captain Black, the Cleggerons’ Director of Communications, today issued the following statement:

THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE CLEGGERONS! WE KNOW THAT YOU CAN HEAR US EARTHMEN!

OUR RETALIATION WILL BE SLOW, BUT NONETHELESS EFFECTIVE! IT WILL MEAN THE ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION OF LIFE ON EARTH! IT WILL BE USELESS FOR YOU TO RESIST, FOR WE HAVE DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF REVERSING MATTER, AS YOU HAVE JUST WITNESSED!

ONE OF YOU WILL BE UNDER OUR CONTROL!

YOU WILL BE INSTRUMENTAL IN AVENGING THE MYSTERONS! OUR FIRST ACT OF RETALIATION WILL BE TO ASSASSINATE YOUR WORLD PRESIDENT!

David Cameron and Nick Clegg were unavailable for comment.

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